Curse of 10000 First Episodes
by Natsumiya Teirin
Summary: All her life, Kagamine Rin has been raised to avoid falling into anime cliches. Most of the time, she's been successful. Unfortunately, the rest of the universe seems pretty set on making sure she falls into something eventually. Rated M to be safe.


When Mr. and Mrs. Kagamine first laid eyes on their child- a healthy blonde girl with bright blue eyes, so incredibly different from their shared brown hair and matching brown eyes- they almost cried. It wasn't because she was ugly or anything, or that she'd somehow been mistaken for someone else's child- because she had her father's nose and her mother's cheeks and chin- but rather, because, for their child to look so different from them could only mean one thing.

She was destined to be the main character in some sort of anime.

Naturally, the Kagamines didn't want to risk losing their daughter to, say, aliens or ghosts, or magical squirrels that fed off emotions- never mind that such things didn't exist, because as far as the two otaku parents were concerned, they _did_. So, starting from a very young age, they raised their daughter Rin to never put herself in that kind of situation.

If she ever happened upon strange jewelry just laying around, she was to throw it out or else ignore it completely. She was to ignore any animals that looked or felt or sounded like they didn't belong on earth. She was to avoid any and all transfer students, and to never ever take a seat by a window in class, even if it meant asking someone to move. If there were ever strange rumors or stories of people who'd been kidnapped, she was to never get involved.

These were the rules her parents had drilled into her head, so that by the time she was six years old, she could recite them perfectly from memory on the spot.

When she was nine years old, she came across a wounded cat with a red gem on its forehead. Even though it met her eyes, she ignored it and went on walking with a shudder as she tried to ease her conscience.

A few months later, she found a strange locket in her school satchel. It was relatively simple in its design and just begged to be worn and discretely hidden under the collar of her school uniform.

She promptly tossed it out the window and into the street, where it was quickly run over and smashed to bits.

About a month after that, the summer trimester ended, and as the fall one began, a new student transferred into her class. Her name was Sukone Tei, and even though her seat was two seats to Rin's right and then three behind that, she seemed to be obsessed with becoming the blonde's friend. Of course, the poor girl tried hard the rest of the semester to show her disinterest in Tei, but relented after the albino snuck into her house at 5 in the morning and made lunches for the both of them while her parents were still asleep.

Of course, she made Tei swear on her life that she wouldn't do _anything_ to try and get Rin involved in any anime-esque shenanigans, to which she eagerly agreed.

So, for the next few years, Kagamine Rin led a normal life- minus the fact that she avoided anime cliches like the plague. She went to school and sat in the front row, fourth column on the right. She had a couple friends, though they only got along because she threatened to cut ties with both of them if they ever fought against each other (and that was often tested, between Tei's first-friend complex and Zatsune-senpai's kouhai-friend complex).

It was infuriating sometimes, but Rin never made a fuss about it unless it looked like they were coming to blows. Otherwise it would only get worse.

And in this way, Rin somehow, through much tribulation, made her way into high school. She scored relatively high on the entrance exam, and ended up in class 1-B. In what could've been either fate or her friends' desperate attempts to keep anyone else from growing close to her, Tei and Zatsune "Call me by my surname" Miku also ended up in that class.

As was normal, it took a couple weeks to get adjusted to the differences between senior high school and junior, but eventually, Rin managed.

Though, in a way that shouldn't have been surprising, but was, Rin found herself trying harder and harder to avoid what some might consider her destiny as she grew older.

In the two weeks that'd passed since she started high school, she'd tossed out four different magical pieces of jewelry and reluctantly ignored an alien fox thing and a telepathic bird.

And this, the first day of the third week of Kagamine Rin's first year of high school, is where our story truly begins...

 _The Curse of 10000 Hearts_

"Rin-chaaann!"

Rin heard the quick footsteps of her friend Tei, and she heard a faint whoosh as the albino launched herself towards her. She could've just moved three steps to the right, but that was something a main character would do, so instead, she just let it happen.

Tei tackled Rin from behind in an ever-loving glomp, her poor, somewhat fractured mind hoping that maybe today, her feelings would be realized. A tiny part of her knew this might never happen, but the rest of her had faith! One day, her lovely blonde knight would realize her feelings! One day...

Ah! She could picture it now! On the rooftop after school, her Rin blushing a lovely pink as, shyly, she confesses her feelings!

"Tei-chan..."

Oh, but she wouldn't need to say any more than that, because Tei would understand! She'd always understand Rin without her needing to say a word!

"Tei-chan..?"

And then, in lieu of words, Tei would just bend down and cup Rin's face gently in her hands, and then bring her forward into a hot, steamy, _passionate_ kiss, and then they'd break away and Rin would say:

"Tei-chan, you're heavy."

Huh?

"...eh?"

Snapping back to reality, Tei was forced to realize the gravity of her position, and quickly leapt off of Rin.

"Wah! Gomen'nasai Rin-chaaannn! I just missed you _soooo muuuuch_!"

With a long suffering sigh, Rin turned around to properly face Tei, who'd prostrated herself before her, and rolled her eyes as she pulled the girl to her feet.

"It's only been a day...yeesh..."

"But! But! Even _a day_ is too long for me to go without your precious smile!"

With another sigh, Rin turned around and continued walking.

"Well then, it's a good thing we're classmates, isn't it?"

With a nod and a chirp of agreement, Tei scrambled to catch up and take her place to Rin's left.

"Haah...just like an overeager _puppy_. Why don't you go back to your kennel and leave my kouhai alone?"

 _"Aahhh...the same thing every morning...why me?"_

Standinga little ways ahead of them, with the heel of her boot against the wall, Zatsune puffed from her cigarette. The first three buttons of her collared shirt were left open, just barely exposing the tatoo on her chest, and her skirt was exactly an inch and a half too short.

"Shut up Zatsune! A delinquent like you has no right to be around Rin-chan!"

"Au contraire, chien stupide. A delinquent like me is the best kind of person for her to be around. A delinquent like me can protect her better than _anyone else_."

Tei growled, and Rin decided to put a stop to it before things could get worse. She grabbed Tei's hand, turning the albino's attention to herself, and then walked towards Zatsune.

"Ohayou Zatsune-senpai! I hope your Sunday went well!" Her voice was dripping with half-false cheer, and that was enough to get the leader of the local gang to pay attention to her.

She took out her cigarette and ground it under her foot as she kicked off the wall.

"Fufufu, such a sweet kitten you are, Rin-chan, to be looking after me like that. My Sunday went well, but it would've been better if you were with me."

Rin pointedly ignored the first and last thirds of that statement and put on her most oblivious face.

"That's good! I'm glad it went well for you!"

Zatsune lifted her hand and ruffled the blonde's hair affectionately, careful not to displace her signature white bow, and if her hand lingered longer than what was necessary...well, Rin was accustomed enough to her displays of affection to not say anything.

So the three of them walked to school together, Tei on Rin's left and Zatsune on Rin's right, every morning, each of them holding one of her hands.

The walk was mostly quiet, since it was a Monday, but that didn't bother either of them as they made their way up to classroom 1-B and took their seats, right beside each other as always.

Rin pulled out a book from her bag and quickly immersed herself into it. Zatsune began picking at her nails, and Tei just stared longingly at Rin's profile, watching as she smiled at certain parts of her book and frowned at others.

The door opened and Megurine-sensei entered. Zatsune plucked Rin's book from her hands and slid it into the blonde's bag, keeping her focus on the podium at the front of the room as she did.

In the Monday morning silence of the room, their pink-haired teacher took role-call easily, and remained standing as she recited the morning announcements.

"It is advised that you _completely_ clean up after yourselves when eating, or you'll just leave a bigger mess for yourselves to clean up later. Ahem. Finally, I know the timing is a little strange, but we have a new student joining us today." She turned towards the sliding door.

"You may come in now!"

And that was when things began to slip even further downhill than they already were.


End file.
